…and the silence between all sound. When I meditated this morning, I had a difficult time quieting my mind. Random thoughts flittered in and out of my brain. I told myself..QUIET! Yah, for like one second. Then flitter, flitter, blah, flitter, flitter, blah. I told myself, “Be here now. Right here.” Blah, blah, blah, flitter. “Okay, then listen to all the noise around you. The birds tweeting. The jogger running by. The truck truckin’ by. I did. And then I realized after I don’t even know how long…I am the silence between that noise. Between all sound. Then, I am the space between all things. Between the smallest particles. If felt expansive, and for a moment I knew that this was true. I felt such peace amongst the cacophony of life.
Unfortunately, later on, when little Jazzi (the 15 month old I take care of) was so sick, and I held her little fevered body in my arms, and I felt worried about her as she coughed and moaned, I thought, “I AM the noise. I AM the sound!” It was how I felt at that moment, worried about my little darling. Unfortunately, I was the noise until just a short while ago when I finally felt like I could let it go. I felt the need to tell everyone what had happened with the baby, maybe for sympathy or maybe so people could tell me I handled everything okay. However, I’d like to be able to, one day, keep that centered feeling I had this morning even through crisis or difficult times. But lucky for me, I’m meditating again before bed! And tomorrow I care for the baby again, and this time maybe I can bring the baby with me into that beautiful expansive space, and help her feel better.
And yes, the baby’s mama took her to the doctor asap and she’s fine. She has a virus, and the last I knew she was sleeping propped up in her little high chair. Doctor’s orders.
Triple Goddess Experiment 