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Archive for February, 2010

Lately I’ve really been feeling like my heart’s not in The Triple Goddess Experiment. After my mom quit as my coach it’s been hard to muster up the desire to want to do it. Although I’m happy to have my mom back as a mom instead of a coach, I really miss the weekly assignments. I’ve stopped doing affirmations completely because I’m not being assigned to do them. I get lazy. The good thing, however, is that I think my internal dialogue has changed dramatically since I first started this, and I’m more clear on what I want from my life. I’d love to find some kind of workbook to keep me going. It helps remind me to practice all this. It is a practice to, and want to get better at this. So, I’ll be looking out for one. If anyone knows of a good LOA workbook or a changing your brain type workbook, let me know.

I’ve been running away from meditation again too. I got mad at Yogananda when he didn’t appear in my dream, so apparently I’m punishing him by not doing it. Yeah, that will get him. LOL. Sometimes when I get busy and wind myself up to keep on schedule, I find it difficult to allow myself to unwind. Keepin’ the brain goin’, except that I really need to give it a rest.

So, I guess I’m sayin’ I’ve been slackin’. So, here’s to finding impetus again.

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Just a grouping of cool websites. Have fun!

Now Cards. Shuffle and pick the one you need NOW.
http://www.ombharat.com/Copy%20of%20tarot/aaamixclick.htm

Meditation music.
http://worriersanonymous.org/Meditate/Meditate.htm

Okay. You have to try this. But I warn you it’s freaky!
http://www.sacredg.com/pages/Gspot.html

Einstein quotes. I never knew he was so wonderful.
http://www.aip.org/history/exhibits/einstein/essay.htm

An incredibly insightful article on the “Fake growth addict”. A must read.
http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2009/11/05/the-number-one-self-development-mistake-and-the-fake-growth-addict/

An online meditation clock:
http://www.poodwaddle.com/meditation.htm

Namaste.

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7 months into my Triple Goddess Experiment, and I come back to something that my coach told me when I started-“If you are experiencing a lack of money, it is because you are blocking it.” I recognize the truth in this as I recognize that this pertains to all things, not just money.

I felt tired this morning, exhausted even, and when I took a moment to meditate, it became apparent to me that I’d been blocking my connection to God. For example, imagine our connection to God is a highway. My highway to God has been a one way road, and I’ve been buying my thoughts and desires a one-way ticket down that road sending them to God. Putting the little mind in the big mind and all that. One road out of my mind with no way into it. Energy from God cannot enter into me if there is no road for it to travel. Nothing can; so, if I don’t either build another highway or turn the one that’s there into a two-way street, then I stay depleted. I need to receive and let the big mind enter into the little mind. I must work on a connection to God that goes both ways. I’ve always been a better giver than receiver, but to truly experience God, I must bring her and all she offers into my life. I must learn to receive ALL that she has to offer.

So, I’ll be working on some visualizations of a beautiful path made of light and crystal that leads from God to me. I will see God’s greatest gifts passing along this path and entering into my Auric field, energy, and mind. I will see them filling me up, and I will express gratitude for them. So it is.

Namaste.

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Yesterday I spent time helping my friend with a major knee problem. She has at least a dozen bone spurs in her knee-joint, and can’t straighten her leg and walks with a cane. She’s under 30 and one of my favorite people, so I made her get on my massage table so I could help her out.

It was great to help someone who really needed it. I massaged her back some, but really focused in on the muscles, tendons, and ligaments around her knee. I found her quad was extremely tight, though quite atrophied, which is an odd combination. I gave her constant and consistent pressure while her whole quad shook and trembled…until it released. I’d say she gained 10 degrees more flexibility after I was through.

I also worked energetically with her, mostly at her knee-joint. She felt pulsing, and isolated and intense heat, while I felt vibration and heat. Visions came into my mind as I was giving her the energy. Her calf was locked up and refused to take energy at first, but slowly the blue light of the energy penetrated and wrapped around the calf. Then, I imagined her quad. I could see the muscles and veins in my mind’s eye, and the energy went directly into her veins. I could see blue light pour into them. Not 30 minutes later, she said that it was gonna sound weird but that she could feel pulsing and the energy in her veins in her legs. What the? That kinda freaked me out. I guess no matter how many times I experience something like this with my energy work, I am always surprised and amazed!

When we were through she felt so much better and experienced much less pain. I’ll be working with her regularly and am refusing to take money for this. Sometimes you just gotta give the love and use your talents cause it’s who you are! Thank you Triple Goddess Experiment! You’ve helped clarify so much!

Namaste!

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I took a yoga class yesterday, and woke up with a very sore neck today. Last week a took a class at the gym as well, and my body hurt for a few days after. When I took my classes on the internet or just by myself, I never injured myself. Maybe I felt a little sore, but never like I had extended beyond what was good for me. So, these group classes are very challenging, and I’m thinking that I need to pay ultra attention to how my body is feeling while I’m in each pose. I have modified some poses, but apparently I’m taking it too far.

I wonder why these classes are so strenuous. Although I know yoga can be difficult, I am feeling like there is too much emphasis on “gotta get a workout in” mentality in Los Angeles, especially at this gym. I would really like to find classes that focus on meditation, strengthen and lengthen without the GRRRR factor. Doesn’t the Grrrr sorta put me more into my bullshit, rather than keeping the focus inward and towards God? I really want to focus on the outward expression of my inward journey. Well now that I know where I want to go with it, it should be easier finding a road to get me there.

Namaste.

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Evil spirits kept after me in my dreams last night. They attacked; I could feel the energy and pressure of their astral bodies against me. I was terrified, and struggled against them, but they were invisible and powerful. I fought.

Bryan woke me up because I was struggling in the bed against them, moaning out loud. I was afraid to go back to sleep. I imagined Yogananda with me and grabbed my necklace my brother had made for me for Christmas- a picture of Yogananda encased in gold- from the night stand.

I fell back asleep and the onslaught continued. I fought and cried and begged for help from my guru. I couldn’t find him in my dream. I battled, and I felt the evil, invisible pressure. Finally, in my dream, a wooden sculpture of Lord Ganesh appeared in my hands, and I quickly hung it on the wall. When I did, the evil spirits immediately left my dream.

I am grateful for Lord Ganesh protecting me. Ganesh used to scare me; I felt revulsion towards him, but he kept appearing in my life. People would buy me statues of him-my brother would tease me and hang a sculpture of him on his wall when he knew I was coming over. Finally, I read his story and loved him, but I have not thought of him in many years. There is a connection between Lord Ganesh and me; I’m sure now.

But where was my guru, Yogananda? Did he send Ganesh to me, or did Ganesh come on his own? I’m confused and feel abandoned. Please, if anyone can help me understand why Ganesh came instead of Yogananda, I’d appreciate your ideas about this.

Namaste.

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Yea! The time came, and after a two and a half hour meeting with the CEO of this start-up, potentially huge corporation, we landed a 6-month account with a specific retainer. We will be handling all of their graphically needs, including their website, plus creating a 7-minute ambassador video. We sign contracts at the beginning of the week. Finally!

It feels so incredible to be recognized for our intelligence, creativity and integrity. We landed this account on our terms, with no compromises. I’m so excited to be getting paid for my creative ideas and artistic talents, including my art, writing and all around genius. LOL.

So, this is a great beginning, a door has been opened for further opportunity. This is a start and will open the doors for video production and writing, which is what I inevitably what I want to do. This is a complete testament to the LOA. I quit a job I hated last September, and though it’s been rough financially, things are working out. I’ll be working doing something I love! This is what I’ve been working on for so long.

So, three cheers, and I’m going to pass out.

Namaste.

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