Archive for the ‘Body’ Category

Last Sunday I beat up the world. I was angry for no apparent reason. I beat up my clients. I beat up Wendy, my coworker and friend, I beat up Bryan and everyone else. Bam. Bam. Bam.

Monday morning I woke up with a neck injury. The world beat me back; it didn’t take the Law of Attraction long to give me back what I put out.

I’ve been treating it with chiropractic care, massage, and more importantly on straightening out my attitude.
I think I’ve been feeling fear. I know how to deal with this; through my meditation and yoga.

Thing is I’ve been working so hard that I haven’t focused on any it like I want to. So, I need to take stock and give time to myself.

I am, however, so grateful for the work. My paycheck for graphics this month will be quite large. Lots of money is yea, yea, yea.

Balance is key for me. So, tomorrow..NO work, and all beach.

Damn, I love living in Southern California sometimes.



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I took a yoga class yesterday, and woke up with a very sore neck today. Last week a took a class at the gym as well, and my body hurt for a few days after. When I took my classes on the internet or just by myself, I never injured myself. Maybe I felt a little sore, but never like I had extended beyond what was good for me. So, these group classes are very challenging, and I’m thinking that I need to pay ultra attention to how my body is feeling while I’m in each pose. I have modified some poses, but apparently I’m taking it too far.

I wonder why these classes are so strenuous. Although I know yoga can be difficult, I am feeling like there is too much emphasis on “gotta get a workout in” mentality in Los Angeles, especially at this gym. I would really like to find classes that focus on meditation, strengthen and lengthen without the GRRRR factor. Doesn’t the Grrrr sorta put me more into my bullshit, rather than keeping the focus inward and towards God? I really want to focus on the outward expression of my inward journey. Well now that I know where I want to go with it, it should be easier finding a road to get me there.


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“Timing is everything. There is a tide in the affairs of men which when taken at the flood leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries.”
~Julius Caesar, written by William Shakespeare.

Yes, because to force a thing when all else is not in place curls expectations around a fist and shatters everything around you when exerted upon your will. Preparing for what you want to create in your life-right and positive thinking, meditation, physical care are all mute if you do not act in appropriate timing. To know when to push forward and when to sit back takes patience, trust, and faith.

I, for a long time, didn’t understand this concept. If I didn’t see what I wanted right away, I feared it would never come. So, I acted impatiently and reacted to a situation from lack of clarity and lack of faith that an answer would reveal itself in the proper time. I was too busy sputtering in frustration to really listen for an answer.

The Triple Goddess Experiment has changed that for me. I am quieter, softer and more trusting. I listen.

And I am grateful.

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Ask God.

It’s been three days. No blog. No meditation. No yoga. It’s the reverse trinity. The 666 of the Triple Goddess Experiment. And it feels like shit.

Because living everyday with meditation, yoga and creating the life I want in my thoughts makes me feel connected to all aspects to myself. The truth is that I’ve been extremely busy-I didn’t have a day off work of some sort in almost two weeks. I’ve been massaging, taking care of the baby…which is now over, and most excitingly been working on a potential account for Talbotgraphix. We are trying to lock down a client to a contract with a six month retainer that would bring in an extra $500 a month for both Bryan and I. So, it’s been a big deal…and it’s not done yet. We meet with the hotshot on Friday and pitch video ideas. We feel like Samantha and Darren off to meet with Mr. Tate. It could potentially propel us into better and bigger accounts-I gotta take that ticket.

Yet, of course, there’s a lack of balance in this way of living, but I knew it was going to be like this for a few weeks while jobs overlapped. And, frankly, it felt good to work again instead of always looking for work. Yes. My self-esteem is somewhat tied into my job and ability to care for myself. Well, it’s all a process isn’t it?

So, now I sink back into balance. I’ve been resting all day, and even slept for two and a half hours. I will do my yoga after dinner and meditate before bed. It’ll feel good. I already know it. This really is my life now-the triple goddess way of life. You know how I know? Because it just feels wrong to do anything else.

And I just read a passage from my guru. He says to place trust in God. So, I will do that tonight. I will meditate and when I feel communion with her, I will ask. I will ask. And I will find all of myself again.


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Well, now that I’m working at The Body Spectrum, I get a free membership at The Spectrum Club, and this club happens to have a lot of yoga classes. It’s been time, for a while, to get out and into an actual class, rather than flippin’ out my downward dogs on a fuzzy blue rug.

So, I took a class with Bonnie Johanson, a petite brunette with a voice to remember-turns out she’s a voice over actress. And a class too.
It was a tough class-I’d hate to think that any beginner might attempt this. It was listed as a II or III, which would relate ot intermediate or advanced. I must be an intermediate because I could handle portions of it quite well, even suprisingly, but others made me chuckle out loud. Like right! Yah, I’m gonna do that! But really, I have taken beginner classes that were tough too. So, it has me thinking.

That and the fact that my mom is interested in doing yoga, but it is all too difficult for her. Even a beginner class for her at a gym is too advanced, but why should she or millions of other people not get to learn and benefit from yoga? People who are not in good shape or who are elderly, or even just older, are left out in the cold. Yoga studios must start putting classes on their schedules for these people. Online videos and DVD’s should be catering to these people. The benefits that they would gain from yoga would help them live longer, healthier and happier lives. So, why are these people neglected again?

So, I challenge yoga studios and gyms to start putting classes on their schedules that are meant for people who cannot even participate in your beginning classes because they are out of shape, obese or elderly. You know you could devise a class for them using chairs, blocks, straps, and the like. Teach them proper breathing, meditation, and for crying out loud, modify asanas so they can participate. Here’s what I’ll do…I’ll add a link on my blog to your website if you let me know that you have a class like this or are adding a class like this to your curriculum. I will even have you as a guest author to discuss your studio, add videos and the like to promote these classes. You can be from anywhere in the country.

So, let me hear from you.


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I am grateful for living, for breathing.

As I take a moment to reflect and ponder my life, I realize that I am so attached to circumstance that surround it. Invested in the story I tell myself and what others tell me life is supposed to be about. I validate circumstance continually, rather than steady myself by internal contemplation.

Going within reminds me what is important, and what is important is breath. Undulating to the rhythm of being. It is life, no less than that.

So, why do I hold my breath when I am stressed. I literally suffer many deaths when I stop breath, if even for a moment. If time doesn’t exist and each moment is all we have, then the moment I don’t breathe, I cease to live.

I must remember to breathe. Yoga helps remind me of that, as does meditation. It is stronger since I began this experiment. My belly expands when I take a deep breath; it has become more natural.

Remember, my friends, breathe. Live.

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Well, my coach, Cheryl Squiers, quit on me- but my mother, Cheryl Squiers, is back. I have mixed feelings about it. It was a big decision when I asked my mother, a Law of Attraction Teacher, Coach and Speaker, to coach me. We’ve had a past in which I always felt like I couldn’t live up to her expectations-she was the perfect stage mom. I become very guarded and defensive around her. She felt she wasn’t a good enough mother, according to me. And I felt I wasn’t a good enough daughter, according to her. Over the years, we have both worked on our selves, self-esteem, and tools to take care of ourselves. We learned to love ourselves, and since we loved ourselves, we were able to feel each other’s love. I felt that our relationship was finally to the point where I could listen to what she had to teach me.

The experiment was going great for several months, but eventually I started feeling like I was always talking to my coach and not my mother. I began missing her, and our conversations were tense until I finally realized what I was feeling…and I told her. My mother is so incredibly smart, caring, loving and just wonderful. She is a brilliant speaker, a caring coach and an inspiring teacher…but even though she is all of those wonderful things…a girl needs her mom. I needed my mom back. She took a look at how she was acting and felt like she couldn’t turn off the coach with me. She validated how I was feeling. So, she decided to stop coaching me.

So, now the question is, do I find another coach? Or do I coach myself. I have to meditate on this one. I am not sure.

As always, thanks for your support and listening.

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