Archive for the ‘love’ Category

I’ve recently vowed to keep a diary of my experiences in healing, mediation and Qi Gong. So, I’ll catch up and then continue as inspired.

Last week, while I meditated, energy from the earth came into my body from my feet. Just below the ball of my big toe, it felt very hot. At the same time, energy from the sky came into my body from my head. I had a great sense that the earth energy was Yin and the sky energy was Yang. I was curious as to what would happen when the two energies met in my body. I calmly observed. As they met in the lower abdomen area, they twined around each other like a DNA helix and moved up my spine in this manner.

Yesterday, I woke up depressed…for no apparent reason. When I learned that Sri Daya Mata passed, I understood clearly that I felt her passing energetically. Oddy enough, I loved her but was not so attracted to her. I sobbed the entire day for her passing. I felt forcefully urged to meditate. As I did, I felt incredible peace and silence, emptiness and fullness at the same time. I, then, felt a hand press on my shoulder and stay there during the rest of the meditation. Om. Jai Guru. Jai Ma.

Today, during my standing meditation, I felt compelled to practice my Qi Gong. As I exhaled the breath and move energy from the Dan Tien area into the reproductive organs, unconciously my pelvis tilted under and as the energy moved down and through the perineum to the coccyx and up, my pelvis tilted back. As the energy moved up the spine, the rib cage expanded and as it retreated down the spin through the front of the body, the ribcage contracted. This movement continued through breath and circulation of the energy. It seemed sexual to me as it almost mimicked the pelvic movement in sex. I don’t think this coincidental. I think that sexual union is spiritual in nature, creating union spiritually and physically when conception occurs. When having sex, then, it would make sense to open the chakras and mind to God.


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7 months into my Triple Goddess Experiment, and I come back to something that my coach told me when I started-“If you are experiencing a lack of money, it is because you are blocking it.” I recognize the truth in this as I recognize that this pertains to all things, not just money.

I felt tired this morning, exhausted even, and when I took a moment to meditate, it became apparent to me that I’d been blocking my connection to God. For example, imagine our connection to God is a highway. My highway to God has been a one way road, and I’ve been buying my thoughts and desires a one-way ticket down that road sending them to God. Putting the little mind in the big mind and all that. One road out of my mind with no way into it. Energy from God cannot enter into me if there is no road for it to travel. Nothing can; so, if I don’t either build another highway or turn the one that’s there into a two-way street, then I stay depleted. I need to receive and let the big mind enter into the little mind. I must work on a connection to God that goes both ways. I’ve always been a better giver than receiver, but to truly experience God, I must bring her and all she offers into my life. I must learn to receive ALL that she has to offer.

So, I’ll be working on some visualizations of a beautiful path made of light and crystal that leads from God to me. I will see God’s greatest gifts passing along this path and entering into my Auric field, energy, and mind. I will see them filling me up, and I will express gratitude for them. So it is.


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You gotta love an allergic reaction to MSG. It mimics being in love: rapid heart rate, feeling faint, and the inability to think properly. Yah, I didn’t know Chinese food restaurants still use that shit in their food, but apparently the one we went to last night still does. I think I’ll slip some in Bryan’s Valentine’s Day dinner to bring some romance back. Ha. Nah, on second thought, we don’t need it.

We got the real thing going on. That’s right baby, and the cool thing is: tomorrow I get to bring on the romance. Yep, Bryan’s big idea. “Take me out Sunday. Buy me dinner, whatever. Spoil me.” I sorta blushed. “Really?” “Yeah,” his head cocked to the side. I lowered my own head, a glint squeaking out of the corner of my eye. “You mean, I get to be the boss tomorrow?”

So, that’s how it happened. We decided to alternate years of being the Big Bad Valentine’s Boss! This year, I plan it out and execute. Next year, he does. It takes the pressure off him every year, and how fair is traditional Valentine’s anyway? Talk about being put on the spot and boiling your love down to a sweet love reduction that’s judged and spat out by female expectations. This man does so much for me, all the time, and I do for him too. We can have much more fun this way, and isn’t that what it’s all about anyway?

So, I can’t tell you where we’re going tomorrow, ’cause he supports me and actually reads this blog. But, it’ll be a blast, and most importantly, I don’t have to worry about whether he really, really loves me because I’ll be too busy really, really loving him!


p.s. Guys, suggest it to your girls for next year, and if they don’t agree, send them over to this blog. Kimmy’ll straighten them out. Good luck!

Relevant quote by Sri Daya Mata:

“It is not realistic, it isn’t fair, to expect or to demand the ultimate perfection from another human being, when we ourselves are not perfect.”

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