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Posts Tagged ‘consiousness’

I felt like Samantha from Bewitched. Last night, after I grumbled in my blog about needing to find the impetus for this blog experiment, I sat down and meditated. I cracked my knuckles, rolled my shoulders back, cracked my neck to the left, then to the right. I sniffled. Empty your mind. Concentrate, concentrate. I focused on my third eye.

Yogananda, I’m back. I’m done punishing you for sending me a boy with an elephant head to save me from evil spirits instead of coming yourself. It really pissed me off that you sent someone else to do the dirty work, but I’ll meditate again, and aren’t you sorry I stopped meditating for a few days? I mean that must’ve really pissed you off, right? Concentrate. Breathe. The breath. So, Yogananda, could you protect me in this meditation please? I really could use a bouncer here. I’ve been dreaming about evil spirits and shit all week.

Okay. Stop thinking Kimmy. Turn it off. Turn it off. Turn it off.

Click.

What the fuck was that? I peeked an eye open. Did my computer shut off. Nope. What was that? I looked to my cable/DVR box. It was shut off. Hey, I didn’t do that. I just shut the TV off with the remote like always, but not the cable box.

“Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off!”

Oh my fucking GOD! Did I do that?! What the hell. I meant my brain, not the God damned cable box! I threw my head back and shrieked in laughter.

Then, I looked at it the cable box real hard. I whispered, “Turn on. Turn on. Turn on.”

Nothing.

I blinked my eyes.

Nothing.

I took my finger and wiggled my nose. Turn on.

Nothing.

Turn the fuck back on you piece of shit!

Nothing.

Son of a bitch. I closed my eyes again. Yogananda! I mentally stamped my foot. Make it turn back on! I felt like Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Nothing.

Then it hit me right across my magical forehead. Nothing.

Nothing is what I want when I meditate. I’m always looking for that next gimmick to prove to myself that I’m so advanced and oh so spiritual. But meditation isn’t about tricks and magic, it’s about emptying the cup. It isn’t about the click of self-realization, but is about allowing yourself to be empty enough so that realization doesn’t happen, but is. Aristotle believed that every thing and one is in the process of becoming, and while I can understand this concept, it takes the future into consideration. It is waiting for something better. It’s waiting for the Cable Box to turn back on, when it doesn’t really matter.

What matters is the moment. The only one you have. And the peace and beauty in its nothingness.

Namaste.

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7 months into my Triple Goddess Experiment, and I come back to something that my coach told me when I started-“If you are experiencing a lack of money, it is because you are blocking it.” I recognize the truth in this as I recognize that this pertains to all things, not just money.

I felt tired this morning, exhausted even, and when I took a moment to meditate, it became apparent to me that I’d been blocking my connection to God. For example, imagine our connection to God is a highway. My highway to God has been a one way road, and I’ve been buying my thoughts and desires a one-way ticket down that road sending them to God. Putting the little mind in the big mind and all that. One road out of my mind with no way into it. Energy from God cannot enter into me if there is no road for it to travel. Nothing can; so, if I don’t either build another highway or turn the one that’s there into a two-way street, then I stay depleted. I need to receive and let the big mind enter into the little mind. I must work on a connection to God that goes both ways. I’ve always been a better giver than receiver, but to truly experience God, I must bring her and all she offers into my life. I must learn to receive ALL that she has to offer.

So, I’ll be working on some visualizations of a beautiful path made of light and crystal that leads from God to me. I will see God’s greatest gifts passing along this path and entering into my Auric field, energy, and mind. I will see them filling me up, and I will express gratitude for them. So it is.

Namaste.

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Since when have the words “God” and “religion” carried such a bad connotation? There are many apparent contributors to these negative connotations that exist within certain sectors of American society and culture. All the evil acts, killing and wars, that have been committed in the name of “God” or a certain religion throughout history has certainly led to distaste in regards to either. Though many in the world, would regard Americans as having no moral compass, the rejection of God and religion in this context only, might prove otherwise. We don’t want to be a part of something that could possibly indicate such a lack of morality. (I only wish our attachment to God and religion was as strong as our attachment to democracy and money, two ideals that we, as a society, have no trouble killing over.)

I also think religions that make it an edict to convert others to their belief system have actually affected an antagonism towards their cause and imbued a negativity towards God and religion, in general. People in America ultimately respect the idea of free will and feel that if someone comes to their doorsteps, preaches to them, or even hands them religious literature that their free will has been compromised. Our attitude is that if we are interested in God or religion, then we will search it out. (Don’t call me, I’ll call you.)

Similarly, many whose own parents and families have preached religion often turn away from a life ruled by dogmatic law and thus, religion and God. It seems that when something is forced upon us, we react to it. Though our reaction could be one of many, most of us will succumb to one of two immediate reactions: we will embrace what is being forced upon us or we will reject it. For many who have lived in a religiously strict house hold, their association with religion or God is often painful and restrictive.

In relation, the absolute power that many religions have exerted over people throughout history has created an aversion to God and religion. Our country was, in part (we all know this region was inhabited by non-Europeans for perhaps thousands of years before Europeans ever crossed the Atlantic), founded by Europeans who came to worship free of the religious power that was in existence. Though our country has a strong history of its own religious dominance, its power has for the most part been kept separate from government. We may have social, familial and cultural pressures to believe in God and follow a certain religion, we do have the freedom to worship or not. Our government supports our right to think, worship and practice religion in whatever way we do or do not wish to. Still, in school, we were taught that the control and power that were displayed by church was wrong.

It seems that much of European and American history has been a reaction to the control of religion, from the Dark Ages to the Renaissance to the Reformation and to religious wars mentioned earlier. We moved from a society who based its thoughts and beliefs on philosophy and religion to a society whose thoughts are put through the scientific method. Though industry and science can’t be blamed specifically for the repugnance of God and religion, the very nature of science has no room for it. So, as a society, many of us have no room for them.

Interestingly, however, we find ourselves living in a society in which many have embraced a notion of “spirituality” over religion. We feel more comfortable talking about a “higher power”, but not “God”. Yet if we really ask one another what spirituality means, we find that it is indeed pluralistic. For some it merely recognizes a dualistic nature of humans, but holds no accountability for action. For others, it recognizes energy that runs through all living things. For some, it is merely a catch-all word they use to acknowledge the “something” that they sense exists. For each person that defines it, we could indeed find a different definition. This is of course reflects the free choices of a people who live in a free society.

But are we really free to think, feel and be whatever and whomever we choose? It would seem so, after all hasn’t our form of government ensured this. We have participated in wars and killed innocent people to insure our freedom of thought. On all accounts, it seems that in America, we are a free people.
However, I’m not so sure that we are free, at least not spiritually. Although, some of us reject traditional religion and feels that frees us of the shackles of dogma, I believe we are as bound by our culture and science as we ever were by the institutions of religion.

Further, however, it is my belief that we are ultimately shackled by all things experience outside of the realm of our inner attention. True freedom exists only within the real world, the world that is clear and apparent through meditation. Direct experience of, dare I say, God.

God and religion have become dirty words for many of us in America, but I cannot turn my back on them. The word “God” originally meant “good” or “invoked one” (1) and the word “religion” archaically meant “strict faithfulness; devotion” (2). Personally, I love the idea of being strictly devoted to good, and further the idea that God can be invoked suggests that “He” is not unattainable- that “He” is knowable. We have, as a people, attached much of our baggage to these words, and I am suggesting that we, including those of us involved in New Age “religions” reclaim them with the understanding that they are not meant to bind us, but to free us. Devotion and strict faithfulness are qualitites that are necessary in knowing “Good”, which is indeed an outward menifestation of meditation and God.

Namaste (which I say to acknowledge the divine, invoked Good that is you)

(1) For an interesting article on the origin of the word “God” as referred to in my writing, please read this article:
http://www.bibleanswerstand.org/God.htm

(2) Information from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/religion

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This is my 106th day, out of 365, of my Triple Goddess Experiment, and my life’s direction is taking shape.
I know that I have the gift of healing, and the ability to inspire people to better themselves and their lives. I will be working on combining this talent with my passion for creating and writing stories. As I work on a book which explore the themes of good and evil and their relationship to free-will, I am also working on a comedic animated screenplay that’s underlying theme is unconditional love. The more I keep my focus on my desire to express these messages, the easier it will be for me to finish them!

In addition, I will be working on The Triple Goddess Experiment Challenge, which will inspire and challenge those who wish to sign on to their own Triple Goddess/God Experiment. This will take work, but my vision is to provide the network and support for individuals to be able to change their lives for the better through meditation, yoga and the concsious application of the Law of Attraction in their lives. More to come on this later.

I appreciate all your ideas and suggestions.
Namaste.

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I’ve been a million times less stressed and feeling quite happy, not so depressed, since I feel like I know what I want in my life (see my Triple Goddess Experiment blog from two days ago). My self-confidence is stemming from my connection to the infinite source of all. My self-esteem is lifting because I am looking inward. I am telling God that he’s just gonna have to take care of me, because I have things I want to do in my life. Things that are important that I know stem from divine will. How do I know this? Because I feel it, and because I feel immensely passionate about creating stories that inspire and help move people. Because I am thrilled at the prospect of helping people through my words.

Since I’ve been busy with post-Christmas celebrations, my yoga suffered last night and was whittled down to about 15 minutes. I felt a bit guilty about that, but spending time with my brother and niece for “our” Christmas was worth it. We had so much fun, and I am blessed with an amazing family, and that includes Bryan.

I’ve been grasping any opportunity I can to meditate, and it is so beneficial. When I close my eyes and breathe in deeply, I feel like I am connecting with the real world. Connecting to that reality is helping me tremendously in this one.

Namaste.

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Tips on meditation for beginners:

My only rule is to ask for protection from my Guru.  If you are Christian, ask Christ. If you are Jewish, ask God, etc. From there, my meditation will be different depending on my needs for that day or moment, even.  A few helpful bits of advice:

1. Follow your breath.  Though there are different techniques for different types of breathing , I most often just breath through the diaphragm making sure that on an inhalation my belly is pushed out and  on exhalation, it relaxes in.  Some times I breathe through the nose and exhale through the back of the throat.  However, I would say if you are new to meditation, don’t stress about a certain technique.  Most important is to focus the mind on the breath and not on everything else that is going on in your world.  Always return to the breath when the mind drifts and engages.

2. Don’t focus on the breath at all, rather focus on a particular “thing”, like God, love, joy. If you find your mind wandering, don’t worry! That’s normal. Just bring your focus back to what you are intending to meditate on!

3. Stop judging yourself on how well you meditate. Who cares, really! Your are doing it and THAT is what matters. 5 minutes a day. Fine. 10 great. 20 good. An hour- nice! Whatever You want. There is no right or wrong.

4. I would suggest sitting and not laying down. More often than not, you’ll fall asleep if you lay down. I do…every time.

Really that’s it. I let the rest happen and don’t worry about it too much. There are chants, mantras, techniques from yogis and masters, but you don’t need to worry about that. Just start. No excuses.

If you meditate, why don’t you add a tip to this list? Keep it simple, remember it’s for the beginner!
Namaste.

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Finally, oh finally, I decided to really get back to meditation and not approach it with one eye open, so to speak. My mind has been so full of worry and stress- I just couldn’t stand that state anymore. So, when I sat cross-legged on the bed and closed my eyes, holding my two crystals, I begged for God. For a long time I told God how much I wanted him/her. Then, it came to me to meditate on love, so I thought of everyone I love on this earth and held that in my consciousness. Suddenly it dawned on me to pour that love into my own being. So, I imagined it spiraling itself down into my body around my spine and from there spreading itself into the rest of me. I sat quietly like that for some time. Then, I thought I was going to fall asleep, like I was nodding off, so I resisted going into that state. Finally, I couldn’t resist it anymore, but instead of falling asleep, it was like I woke up. My senses were heightened and everything was more alive. An incredible peace filled my being, warm and so loving, and I thought, “Oh, thank God!…Home.”

Namaste.

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