Posts Tagged ‘healing’

It’s odd how working gives me a much greater sense of self-esteem. Actually, nix that. It’s incredible how much better I feel after working a job that expresses who I am.

The two words, artist and healer, are nouns that express two distinct aspects of myself. Through much hard work during the last four and a half months, I realize that I must express both of these aspects of myself to be truly happy. I started my new job yesterday as a massage therapist, and felt overwhelming joy knowing that I am helping these people feel better, whether it’s simply through relaxation or by helping their bodies heal. I left work with a little cash in my pocket, and I didn’t feel as if I had to sell my soul to get it. Leaving the bar was a correct step in healing my own life. Accepting work as a massage therapist again, is the correct step in helping to bring my life closer to how I envision it.

But what about my art? I have always loved the arts- theater, song, dance, painting, writing- but I never knew, really knew what I wanted to do with this passion. My mother always encouraged me to pursue the arts because I loved it, which is reason enough, I suppose, for most people, but I always felt that there was something missing for me in this reasoning. I never felt it was expressing the entirety of who I am.

I believe true art expresses the voice of the artist and elicits an emotion and change in the person who hears that voice. Reflecting on the last four and a half moths, I realize that my art is meant to heal. My greatest wish, then, is to integrate healing into my art. Commercial art is great- it helps pay the bills- but to heal through my art would be profound. Although healing in itself is also an art, my desire is to ultimately heal through my writing, film, song, painting and dance.

Integrating these aspects of myself must be the purpose of my life. I know that know. Massaging and energy healing is a strong step in expressing who I am, but like commercial art, does not integrate these aspects. Each step I take in my future, then, will be to bring healing into my art.

This will be my greatest joy in my life. This is my impetus for all that I do.

This is my vision.



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A while back I was distraught after experiencing an incredible meditation in which I felt such intense love and opening inside of myself.   Coming back to life on earth with my  more limited conciousness was a downright drag, everything paling in comparison to that incredible experience.  Over the last week or so, I’ve felt like my purpose is to bring that conciousness to me in my life and to affect others with it using my talents.

A talent that I first realized I had when I was  maybe 15 years old, the ability to use energy to heal, is opening and developing so intensely since I’ve been doing this experiment that I am nearly flabbergasted.  Energy is pulsing and poring through my hands, always when I do yoga and meditate, when I have massaged Bryan, my boyfriend, and various other times.  Last night, Bryan told his wing chun student Charlie that he just had to feel the energy coming from my hands.  Charlie was game, so I ran the energy into his shoulder.  Charlie didn’t feel it at first but after about 3 minutes, it kicked on big time and he was dumbfounded. He felt incredible heat, tingling and energy pouring down his arm.  Eventually he began to feel his whole body pulsate. 

We have a surface temperature thermomator originally bought for ghost hunting, so Bryan took it out.  The temperature difference under my hands on his shoulder was three degrees hotter than elsewhere. I asked Bryan to hand me my crystals, using the quartz in my right hand to amplify the energy, and an obsidian stone in my left to ground.  Immediately the energy intensified and the crystal began to vibrate so intensely it felt like they, especially the quartz, was moving in my hand.  Bryan whipped out the thermometer and the heat had increased another two degrees!

It was great validation for me.  But today was better.  A am staying at my brother’s house and I decided to wash my car behind the house.  The back of the garage abuts a street.  As I began to clean out the garbage pile that was my car (not now it’s sparkling!), a dog walker starts coming down the street with 10-14 dogs, all very obedient I might add.  Suddenly one of the dogs lays down and proceeds to have a very, very intense seizure.  The poor boy was frothing at the mouth, tongue hanging out.  The lady kept calm, and thankfully so did the dogs.  I asked her if I could help.  Unsure, she says no and calls her dog walking partner to come pick the dog up…but he’s out with his dogs!  So, I walk over and tell her that I’m an energy healer and I’m going to give the dog energy and maybe it’ll help.  She didn’t say too much.  I’m thinking this dog’s a goner…but maybe I can comfort him. I put my hands on him and begin running energy.  It starts running strongly immediately, and within 30 seconds the dog gets up and is fine.  I followed the lady with my car to her car to make sure she makes it back with George okay and off they went.

I realize that the energy healing I did may not have been the cause of the seizure ending, but it may have been.  The timing was curious. Regardless, I felt such a sense of calm when it all happened; it was like I channelled the meditative state that I have been practicing.  I can’t even express how incredible it felt to help this dog, even if it was just to calm him and let him feel the love and energy flowing from me.  I know he felt it.  I felt us  connected in those moments.

This is why I am here.  This is what it’s all about for me and it is beautiful.


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