Posts Tagged ‘job’

161 days to drastically change your life. That’s how long it took. Okay, I don’t have the castle in Scotland yet or the dog named Chummy, but signing a 6 month graphic design and video production contract with a company poised to be a major world-wide corporate entity is a major step in the right direction. Yah, that’s what we did tonight. It’s been hard work, some fourteen hour days, but it’s worth it.

And last Sept 20, when I started this Triple Goddess Experiment, I had quit my major source of income, a job I drastically hated, and worked part-time caring for my friend’s daughter. I took slack and judgment from friends and non-friends for the bold move I made, but I just knew I needed to make room for my dreams to come into my life. Then, things got tough with that part-time job, and finances got even tougher. I was at times depressed and miserable, but I kept up the experiment. I meditated every day, practiced my yoga, and completed assignment after assignment from my coach, Cheryl Squiers of Become a Lotus. It has been the toughest thing I’ve ever done.

And I’m still doing it. Because this isn’t a fad or an experiment anymore, it’s a way of life. Although, there are days when I don’t get a chance to post a blog and days when I still struggle, I have drastically changed my thought patterns. Having success, of course, will help continue to snowball these positive thoughts into more positive thoughts.

I can see my dreams and a more concrete plan for achieving them more clearly. This website will have the kind of exposure designers can only dream of. It will open many doors for us. Our video production work will be up front and center on this homepage. The potential is huge, and this will help me really follow this direction in my career. Yeah, I still want to write and direct and make stories. I’ve taken the first giant step on this ladder towards that goal.

So, I’m keepin’ on keepin’ on. This blog’s for you Holly.



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Ask God.

It’s been three days. No blog. No meditation. No yoga. It’s the reverse trinity. The 666 of the Triple Goddess Experiment. And it feels like shit.

Because living everyday with meditation, yoga and creating the life I want in my thoughts makes me feel connected to all aspects to myself. The truth is that I’ve been extremely busy-I didn’t have a day off work of some sort in almost two weeks. I’ve been massaging, taking care of the baby…which is now over, and most excitingly been working on a potential account for Talbotgraphix. We are trying to lock down a client to a contract with a six month retainer that would bring in an extra $500 a month for both Bryan and I. So, it’s been a big deal…and it’s not done yet. We meet with the hotshot on Friday and pitch video ideas. We feel like Samantha and Darren off to meet with Mr. Tate. It could potentially propel us into better and bigger accounts-I gotta take that ticket.

Yet, of course, there’s a lack of balance in this way of living, but I knew it was going to be like this for a few weeks while jobs overlapped. And, frankly, it felt good to work again instead of always looking for work. Yes. My self-esteem is somewhat tied into my job and ability to care for myself. Well, it’s all a process isn’t it?

So, now I sink back into balance. I’ve been resting all day, and even slept for two and a half hours. I will do my yoga after dinner and meditate before bed. It’ll feel good. I already know it. This really is my life now-the triple goddess way of life. You know how I know? Because it just feels wrong to do anything else.

And I just read a passage from my guru. He says to place trust in God. So, I will do that tonight. I will meditate and when I feel communion with her, I will ask. I will ask. And I will find all of myself again.


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I must apologize to all my followers for not writing the past two days. My power cord on my computer is on its last leg; I actually haven’t been able to get it to work for the past two days at all. Bryan came over this morning and fiddled with it and was finally able to get it to work. I can’t move the computer or even the cord or I’m shit out of luck. I need to buy a new cord on Ebay as soon as I’m done posting this blog. Oh yeah, and a funny note. Bryan and I were at Borders a few days ago and needed to look up rental car companies on my computer on the internet-poor guy blew through two cars in two days- and we spent a half an hour fiddling with the stupid cord. The little blue light that tells you power is getting to the computer would come on for a fraction of a second and then die out. We kept unplugging it and then plugging it back in over and over. Finally we get a blue light, and we realize he friggin’ things not plugged in at all! AHHHHH! Talk about freaky…

It’s been a stressful week. The restaurant I was hoping to get a job at didn’t hire me-who knows why. The mother of the little girl I care for told me my last day is on Feb 9th as they’re putting her in daycare…so sad (I don’t agree with the decision, but I’m not the parent. I just hate o see her suffer). My brain went to a pretty bad place, and I broke down crying and crying to Bryan. My coach reminded me that it’s because my thoughts were negative. Couldn’t argue there. I let it all out, the fear, the pain of a damaged friendship, the disappointment. I lived in it for a solid 3 hours plus a shitty night’s sleep. Strangely, I feel better and renewed. I guess it would have been better not to go there in my mind, but I ain’t there yet. I still unfortunately belong to the human race. The one where emotions, especially fears, can get the better of us.

So, anyway, moving on…got a job at a spa I used to work at years ago. They were pretty happy to have me back. I’ve been thinking about it for the past two weeks or so. One of the great benefits is that I get a full gym membership with FREE yoga classes, hot tub, jacuzzi, and dance classes. I’ve felt the need to take yoga to the next level and work out and dance. I’m excited about this.

My coach worries that I’m taking a step backwards…but I honestly feel like the last two years of my life has been a step backwards. I feel like it’s a step forward and will allow me peace of mind that will allow me to focus on my writing. I did the most writing in the past when I worked here.

And if it doesn’t work out, for whatever reason, I’d be no worse off than I am now.

I’ve worked hard for 4 months on all this stuff…my yoga, meditation and LOA stuff. I am not perfect at it, but I do feel like it’s leading me in the right direction.

Thanks for listening.


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So, as I balance out my emotions from having experienced a life altering meditation Saturday night and the extreme let down of “regular life” in its aftermath, I’m learning more about myself and some of my limiting beliefs.  The day after that particular meditation, I went into a fear frenzy after I looked into my bank account and realized the cable company took out their payment three days early and I couldn’t go grocery shopping as I had planned…was even dressed in heels, ready to head to the store.  Even though, I knew I was going to take care of the baby Tuesday and Wednesday and would get paid, and even though I have $500 coming for graphic design work I’ve already done, and even though I have work on a script, website, brochure and more for the next month or more…I felt guilty.  Like I wasn’t doing enough to make money.  Like I should get a “real” job.  I realized that for some reason I feel like work means leaving the house and working for someone else.  I feel irresponsible for having left the job at the relaxation studio, even though it hurt my shoulder. 

So, I am continuing my work with the law of attraction, and I know I need to change this belief, this mind set that does nothing but make me feel guilty.  I’m also thinking that I need to talk with other people who do what I do…make money in alternative kind of ways and are very successful at it.  Meeting more people who live their lives doing what I want should help.  A professional writer’s group.  Artists. Photographers.  Maybe I should go to gallery showings and such.   And I’ll also talk to my coach-Cheryl Squiers– about this.  See what she thinks I can do to change this mindset.

Till tomorrow, and if you have any suggestions, I’m all ears.  It’s comforting knowing that people are sharing this journey and experience with me.  I appreciate your comments.

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