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Posts Tagged ‘triple goddess’

7 months into my Triple Goddess Experiment, and I come back to something that my coach told me when I started-“If you are experiencing a lack of money, it is because you are blocking it.” I recognize the truth in this as I recognize that this pertains to all things, not just money.

I felt tired this morning, exhausted even, and when I took a moment to meditate, it became apparent to me that I’d been blocking my connection to God. For example, imagine our connection to God is a highway. My highway to God has been a one way road, and I’ve been buying my thoughts and desires a one-way ticket down that road sending them to God. Putting the little mind in the big mind and all that. One road out of my mind with no way into it. Energy from God cannot enter into me if there is no road for it to travel. Nothing can; so, if I don’t either build another highway or turn the one that’s there into a two-way street, then I stay depleted. I need to receive and let the big mind enter into the little mind. I must work on a connection to God that goes both ways. I’ve always been a better giver than receiver, but to truly experience God, I must bring her and all she offers into my life. I must learn to receive ALL that she has to offer.

So, I’ll be working on some visualizations of a beautiful path made of light and crystal that leads from God to me. I will see God’s greatest gifts passing along this path and entering into my Auric field, energy, and mind. I will see them filling me up, and I will express gratitude for them. So it is.

Namaste.

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So how many of you feel like a failure when you “work” The Law of Attraction and all that you’ve focused on still doesn’t manifest in your life? Yeah, me, me, me, me, me. It’s been four months, and I’m still having crying breakdowns and little money in the bank. And what about you? Have you lost that weight yet or gotten that promotion? Have you attracted the love of your life?

Sometimes I think that aspects of The Law of Attraction give me more reason to blame myself for a crappy life. I feel more pressure to be a perfectionist and have it all together. Man, everyone can see how much I hate myself because I am not living my dreams. It’s all my fault I’m in this predicament. Does this ring true for any of you?

What I do love about The Law of Attraction is that it gives us our power back and God knows that we haven’t had power over our lives for a long time. Church and religion manipulated our very thoughts; oppression and fear will do that. You mean I can change my life? GOODY! The problem, however, is for those of us who are perfectionists and give it our all and are still coming up short. I give myself an A+ for effort, and a D on the mid-term, and I blame myself for all my misery, which makes me more miserable.

So what does this mean?

It means that the purpose in working The Law of Attraction isn’t to get all the shit you ever wanted. It isn’t to look at what you have attracted or not attracted as a measure of success. As a matter of fact, all that’s a bunch of bull shit. Judging yourself and being hard on yourself will simply take you further away from your true essence. The importance of working The Law of Attraction is that it allows you to have a better life along the way to your destination. There are several aspects of working The Law of Attraction that will help you be happier. Period.

Positive thinking and affirmations will shift your thinking. According to The Law of Attraction this will allow you to attract things in your life that match the energetic vibration of your thoughts. However, it will also allow you to enjoy the present moment. It is hard to be unhappy when you choose to think more positively. So, don’t do it for the future and what you will have. Do it for the NOW. That is all we have anyway. Further, when we think in a more positive way, we will react to any crap that does come our way in a manner that brings us more lightheartedness than heart ache. It is hard to react poorly when we are concentrating in a higher vibrational frequency. And if we do, oh well. Pick yourself up and try try again. We’re in school. We haven’t graduated to guru yet.

Grateful living that embodies the emotion of appreciation will tell the universe that you are abundant and full of wonderful things. This in turn will bring you MORE wonderful things. This is true according to The LOA. Straight up, living with gratitude will humble you and allow you to feel more connected to others. You will find that you will bring much joy to your relationships and they will flourish because people will feel valued. Living with gratitude fills your life with love.

As you start to think about what you do want in your life and work with all your gusto to attract it into your life with all the techniques I’ve talked about or others have shown you, you will come in contact with your passions and your true self. You will begin to focus on your greatest purpose. There is no time that you are closer to your true essence as when you are living your true purpose and expressing your honest self. Be prepared, however. It might not be what you thought it was. Be flexible to discover your truth. It is not an act of becoming that purpose, but in uncovering and revealing that true-self. This is the true beauty.

So, yes. I have been hard on myself for not attracting all that I want in my life yet. I know you are hard on yourself too. We usually are. But blame has no place in working with The Law of Attraction. Working it is not to attract that end desire.

Working The LOA is spiritual, pure and simple. And keep on, keepin on. It’s a way of life.

Namaste.

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Why is it that I have my greatest epiphanies in the bathtub?

Ironic since I hated to take a bath when I was a kid. Once mom told me to take a bath-I was six or so. I went in the bathroom, sat there (on the toilet with the lid closed) for a while. I got up, got into my jammies and exited. Mama asked me if I took a bath, and I eagerly replied. “Ye-es!” She went to the tub, touched its sides, and felt up the soap. KIMBERLY ANNE! You get in here and take a bath right now!! Shit, busted! I got smarter after that and wet the tub, the soap AND a wash cloth…until I actually learned to like taking a bath.

So, yes, the epiphany. I know you’re dying to hear this one: you get what you expect. Duh, you say. Well, let me tell you that many people, especially me, learn to turn off the expectation button. Haven’t you ever had an expectation of someone, and then when they let you down, learned NOT to have expectations of that person. Can’t get hurt if you have no expectations. Can’t get let down if you have no expectations. Well, I’m sorry, but FUCK that!

If you have no expectations, you know what you get? SHIT! You get more hurt with no expectations. You have nothing to reach for, nothing to attain, nowhere to go! If we let people off the hook, we get a hell of a lot less than disappointed or let down. We get numb, and we get people in our lives who are substandard to what we need and desire. Sorry, but my needs are important. My desires are important.

From here on out, I EXPECT a great job in which I make great money! I EXPECT great friendships in which people treat me well and with respect. I EXPECT a GREAT life. I deserve it!

Don’t you?
Namaste.

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This is my 106th day, out of 365, of my Triple Goddess Experiment, and my life’s direction is taking shape.
I know that I have the gift of healing, and the ability to inspire people to better themselves and their lives. I will be working on combining this talent with my passion for creating and writing stories. As I work on a book which explore the themes of good and evil and their relationship to free-will, I am also working on a comedic animated screenplay that’s underlying theme is unconditional love. The more I keep my focus on my desire to express these messages, the easier it will be for me to finish them!

In addition, I will be working on The Triple Goddess Experiment Challenge, which will inspire and challenge those who wish to sign on to their own Triple Goddess/God Experiment. This will take work, but my vision is to provide the network and support for individuals to be able to change their lives for the better through meditation, yoga and the concsious application of the Law of Attraction in their lives. More to come on this later.

I appreciate all your ideas and suggestions.
Namaste.

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Finally, oh finally, I decided to really get back to meditation and not approach it with one eye open, so to speak. My mind has been so full of worry and stress- I just couldn’t stand that state anymore. So, when I sat cross-legged on the bed and closed my eyes, holding my two crystals, I begged for God. For a long time I told God how much I wanted him/her. Then, it came to me to meditate on love, so I thought of everyone I love on this earth and held that in my consciousness. Suddenly it dawned on me to pour that love into my own being. So, I imagined it spiraling itself down into my body around my spine and from there spreading itself into the rest of me. I sat quietly like that for some time. Then, I thought I was going to fall asleep, like I was nodding off, so I resisted going into that state. Finally, I couldn’t resist it anymore, but instead of falling asleep, it was like I woke up. My senses were heightened and everything was more alive. An incredible peace filled my being, warm and so loving, and I thought, “Oh, thank God!…Home.”

Namaste.

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`Let’s go see Avatar in 3-D Imax. I’ll treat, popcorn and everything. With a gentle shrug of my shoulders, I think “Sounds like a deal and a chill day.” Ok. So Bryan and I go to the three o’clock showing. Sold out. The next available show time is 7 pm. Want tickets for that. Honey? Don’t honey me, you decide, I tell him. Let’s do it. Ok, cool. He buys the tickets and we’ve got 4 hours to kill.

Thing is folks, I’d kill 8 hours to see it. Days. I’ve been waiting for this movie my whole life. Never have I been so lost in a world. Never have I wanted to desperately stay in a world different from my own. The world that James Cameron creates is a cross between The Wizard of Oz, The Garden of Eden, and honestly, the world from my meditations. It is the world I crave and miss, and where I want to live. A world where everything is connected through a web of energy, and a world where life and spirit are loved and respected.

I sobbed for 5 minutes on Bryan’s chest when it was through. My breath was stolen from my body, and I haven’t retrieved it yet. Never have I been so moved and affected by a film.

Please, please, please, I beg you to go see this movie. All of you. It is spiritual, emotional, and honest.

Namaste.

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I always felt poor when I was growing up, so my coach Chery Squiers of Become a Lotus told me to rewrite an episode in my childhood, so I didn’t feel poor.  Nothing outrageous, but something my mind could believe and grasp on to.  I am working on change neural pathways in my brain, so I can manifest money. So, I did it, and now I have to read it, and imagine it everyday:

I live on State Street in Portland, Maine with my mother and my three older brothers. We have beautiful hard wood floors in that apartment, and I love to twirl across it, the air lifting my skirt as I go. There is a large, curved giant picture window so I can look to see when Mama returns from work, or see the traffic scurry by. We have a radiator that hisses, but always keeps us toasty warm in the winter. It’s the old-fashioned type because it’s an old building in an old city, but I like that. Character and charm.

My favorite thing about living here, on State Street, is the penny store that’s across the street and down a half a block. It’s on the corner, tucked into its building like it knows it’s going to be a cold winter…and it always is. But I don’t mind the cold so much, even though the store does. I get to wear soft pink warm mittens and a hat to match, and always mama buys me a warm coat… I’m sure the store isn’t half as lucky as me. Well, on second thought, maybe it is. It is full of penny candies and soda pop including Moxie, my favorite, and kids always popping in and out, negotiating which candies they want in their small brown paper bags. It’s truly a magical place, better even than Disneyland I think. Mama took me there when I was 5 and even though it was, well Disneyland, it was pretend. My store was real.

Today, mama gave me $10.00 to spend on whatever I wanted in that store. I stood outside the freshly painted lime green apartment building and clutched the $10 in my hand. I felt rich, like I could buy the world if I wanted to. I looked down at my jacket and could see my yellow dress poking out from under my coat’s collar. I loved that dress. It was satin. I took a step towards my store and thought about what I would buy in that paradise. Bubble gum, each piece wrapped individually in its own wrapper. Tootsie rolls, pop rocks, and pixie stix. Yes! Definitely those. One more step, and another. Almost there.

I reached for the screen door. The bells above it rang, and the door pushed towards me. I stopped. I had an idea. Two kids charged out with small brown paper bags chock full!

I could buy something for mama.

I dropped my hand and turned. Yes. For mama. I turned and with the cold, winter wind at my back, I headed away from the water up State Street towards town. I would find something there for her. Something she will love.

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