The Buzz Log – From Cave to Castle – Yahoo! Buzz

 

A wonderful article about how things can change for the better at a drop of a hat! Thanks! I needed that!

The Buzz Log – From Cave to Castle – Yahoo! Buzz.

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Don’t read this post if you want it all positive!

Well, today was my hardest day since the first week I started this blog.  I had moments of feeling distraught, lost, unsure of everything, and scared. I worked obsessively and incessantly on my computer inspired by fear, not love of what I’m doing.  My mind kept going down into dark thoughts, spiralling my attitude into places I never wanted to go to again. 

Why? The answer is two-fold.  First, I am going to get my period within the week…the hormones are kicking up and I can feel it.  The second is because my friend, whose baby I take care of, was sick all week, so I didn’t work.  I was counting on that money for rent…and now my rent is late.  I feel like I can’t count on the income from taking care of the baby, so I’ve made the decision to get a job that will give me consistent money so I can continue to do the work I love-the writing, photography and graphics.  This was a hard decision because I love the baby so much, but since I am not on a monthly retainer, I can’t afford to have a week of no work.

Then, my mind went to that yucky place of what if.  What if I don’t get a job? What if, what if, what if.  Horrible words!!!  Those two words are not helpful to me.  I saw myself going a financial hole! Ugg.

So, then after a day of feeling like this, I decide to take a bath.  In the bath I think, you know you can get out of the tub, go do your yoga (will help your hips feel better which hurt from sitting all day) and meditate. You’ll feel so much better! Yeah, BUT I want to feel like crap!  Ha ha ha. Can you believe I actually told myself that? Then I thought, yeah, well, feeling angry and scared and sad and scared really worked so well for you the past two years?  Yeah, go back to your misery ’cause that really gave you the life you wanted

Maybe I’m schizo!  Just kiddin’, but after that I called Bryan, and he asked me what has changed in my life since I’ve been doing the Triple Goddess Experiment. I answered:

I’ve made money doing photography.

I’ve made money doing graphic design.

I’ve been much happier.

My attitude is in general much improved.

I have more energy in my hands and have healed people.

I have taken on a guru.

I’m writing everyday (creating a habit of it).

I have a closer relationship with my mother and my brother Jamme.

My family is now meditating.

I am inspiring people to take steps to be happier.

I realized, of course, that I needed to refocus my mind on what I DO have…not on what I don’t have! That was my answer for the day.  Thanks to my Bryan for getting me there.

So, I’m feeling a little wiped out now since I’ve taken myself on an emotional roller coaster ride.  So, I still have to do that yoga and meditation…now that  I WANT to be happy and feel good!

Thanks for the support…and as always Namaste.

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