Alright, so I am taking my first steps to balancing my hormones.  To do this, I need to balance mind, body and spirit.  There is so much to all of this, and as recommended by Allan Warshowsky, author of Healing Fibroids: A Doctor’s Guide to a Natural Cure, I am taking it one step at a time.  Implementing all of these changes is overwhelming, so I will take one step at a time.

My first battle is giving up caffeine.  Dr. Warshowsky suggests weaning off it by mixing Caffeinated Coffee with Decaf until soon you are just drinking decaf.  I have been doing this, and I have only experience ONE mind splitting headache…but whatever, I  mean a headache compared to a surgical knife is nothing.  Today, I succeeded with 3 parts Decaf and 1 part Regular.  I aim to be totally on Decaf by Wednesday, and then by Friday, plan to switch to Herbal tea.  And I was a HUGE coffee addict. Just ask my mother who was in shock at my consumption of caffeine upon a recent visit to see her and dad in Maine.  No joke folks.  

I have already given up refined sugar as Dr. Warshowsky suggests…so this battle was already won. Stevia and I are best friends. Okay well not best friends, but we have cuddled up now and again.

And I have given up dairy…Whatever, who cares about dairy?  Okay, so I like cheese, but it’s not usually that yummy anyway.  Makes me feel clogged up.  I replaced the milk I was using in my oatmeal with a product called: Blue Diamond Almond Breeze. It’s a blend of coconut and almond milk and has no added sugar. I think it’s yum. I need to see if there is an organic version.

One step at time.  One day at a time.  These tumor’s are going bye bye.  

Maybe 35, long dark hair, an advertising executive. Comfortable with her femininity and a clear communicator. No pain please. And no deep tissue. She breezed into the massage room. I sat down and talked with her for 10 minutes, – I didn’t have a client after. I could afford the time.

3 months ago, she was rear ended. The other car was traveling 65 miles per hour. She suffered whiplash, and her upper/mid back hurt. The pain didn’t come until a month or so after.

A perfect candidate for fascia release work, energy work and non-invasive massage. The fascia release work released her neck and shoulders about 40% without any massage technique. Massage soothed her, bringing some blood to the area. There was a build up of energy in her mid-thoracic area, and it felt very hot. I cleared that out, then gave her qi in that area. She felt cool wind on her back, which is also how I experienced the energy from my hands. After 3-5 minutes, the energy in the area felt smooth. I, then, balanced the energy throughout her body.


Last night I dreamt that I was a part of a group of women who dabbled in spiritual things. Suddenly, an evil spirit entered the body of a friend of mine (in the dream). I quickly contained her in that body and while the other women didb’t know what to do with her, it seemed normal for me to control her. The shop we were in didn’t have the tools I needed to exorcise her, so I summoned a male friend of mine (in the dream). He went on a search to find the proper equipment. While he was on this mission, the friends body shrunk but I held on to her. The evil spirit excreted a burning substance to try me to let go of her, but I wouldn’t. I woke up.

Geez, it’s a wonder I woke up exhausted.

I’ve recently vowed to keep a diary of my experiences in healing, mediation and Qi Gong. So, I’ll catch up and then continue as inspired.

Last week, while I meditated, energy from the earth came into my body from my feet. Just below the ball of my big toe, it felt very hot. At the same time, energy from the sky came into my body from my head. I had a great sense that the earth energy was Yin and the sky energy was Yang. I was curious as to what would happen when the two energies met in my body. I calmly observed. As they met in the lower abdomen area, they twined around each other like a DNA helix and moved up my spine in this manner.

Yesterday, I woke up depressed…for no apparent reason. When I learned that Sri Daya Mata passed, I understood clearly that I felt her passing energetically. Oddy enough, I loved her but was not so attracted to her. I sobbed the entire day for her passing. I felt forcefully urged to meditate. As I did, I felt incredible peace and silence, emptiness and fullness at the same time. I, then, felt a hand press on my shoulder and stay there during the rest of the meditation. Om. Jai Guru. Jai Ma.

Today, during my standing meditation, I felt compelled to practice my Qi Gong. As I exhaled the breath and move energy from the Dan Tien area into the reproductive organs, unconciously my pelvis tilted under and as the energy moved down and through the perineum to the coccyx and up, my pelvis tilted back. As the energy moved up the spine, the rib cage expanded and as it retreated down the spin through the front of the body, the ribcage contracted. This movement continued through breath and circulation of the energy. It seemed sexual to me as it almost mimicked the pelvic movement in sex. I don’t think this coincidental. I think that sexual union is spiritual in nature, creating union spiritually and physically when conception occurs. When having sex, then, it would make sense to open the chakras and mind to God.

Hello dear friends. I know some of you were wondering what happened to me. It’s been so long since I posted anything. Truth is that I got so incredibly busy with work that I didn’t take the time for my experiment. At first I felt guilty about this, but now I’ve come to terms with it. I wanted to see where this experiment would take me, and I’ve found out that if you really take the time to listen to what’s inside of you and connect with YOU, then the rest of your life will fall into place. I am the happiest I’ve been in my life. I am happy with my work, massage and graphic design. I took the risk and honored myself and who I am-it has been the greatest thing I’ve ever done for myself.

I had a talk recently with my mom, and what I realized is that sometimes we, as humans, may get scared, or angry or full of emotions. But to act in a way that is best for us, regardless of these feelings, is true bravery, and what we must do to live a more fulfilled life. Emotions are incredible and let us learn about ourselves, where are boundaries are and reveal our capacity for love and empathy. However, emotions are just emotions and can hinder us if we let them control our lives and choices.

For instance, many love a partner who is abusive and withstand enormous pain because they are giving power to that love, rather than caring for themselves. Or we feel scared to face the unknown, to take a risk and really pursue our dreams, so we work a job that makes us feel miserable. Or we never take that art class because we are afraid of failure, and we never truly live life to its fullest. The truth is that while these emotions may be valid…they may hinder our growth and happiness.

And of course, the flip side is that emotions can keep us safe, when we are really in danger. Fear will stop us from making dangerous choices like going for a walk alone at midnight in a gang infested neighborhood, and anger helps us identify when a boundary has been crossed or violated. Admittedly, we should pay attention to these feelings.

However, it is important to step back from our feelings, even if for just a moment, so we can determine if action needs to be taken. For instance, I want to read my poetry at open mic night at Barnes and Nobles. I’m terrified! Yet, stepping back from that fear, I know that reading my poetry will be beneficial for me. Sharing my writing is important to me, and it could open door to opportunities, friendships and it could help someone who is listening to my reading. So, I will do it regardless of my fear.

Life, love and happiness.


Ahh. The Triple Goddess Experiment. A way to survive pain, depression and fear. Security, love and hope in a world that felt painful and over whelming. I have neglected you dear friend as I have enjoyed the manifestations of my hard work. Work has at times been all-consuming, but fun and rewarding. As I enjoy the creativity and artistry in graphic design, I also have been enjoying healing through massage, energy work and soon…micro current therapy. I am honoring both sides of myself…the artist and the healer.

Next, I am going to reincorporate poetry into my life as I start to present my poetry in open mic sessions at the local Barnes and Nobles. I will start writing again for the love it, and not the desire to complete a project or to make money. Do it because to not do it is to ignore a part of my soul. I am so excited for this next step in my life. I am reclaiming it, you know. My life is becoming mine again. Or maybe for the first time. Or maybe just the next time.

I wrote this piece after I left my ex-husband 7 years ago. A recurring theme, though this time it has nothing to do with a man, but realizing the power to do anything is inside of me. Maybe I should write a poem today called The Power in Me. Ha.

The Republic of Me

My life is for me now.
Your domination has taught me the lesson
learned for endless generations.
The revolution festered in doubt for so many years,
an uprising- a test of independence.
A retreat.
A surrender.
But when the day of reckoning came,
It was swift.

A recognition of power and
an acknowledgement of self.

you have been dethroned.
you are not my God.
you are not my King.
you have been replaced by
The Republic of Me.


Last Sunday I beat up the world. I was angry for no apparent reason. I beat up my clients. I beat up Wendy, my coworker and friend, I beat up Bryan and everyone else. Bam. Bam. Bam.

Monday morning I woke up with a neck injury. The world beat me back; it didn’t take the Law of Attraction long to give me back what I put out.

I’ve been treating it with chiropractic care, massage, and more importantly on straightening out my attitude.
I think I’ve been feeling fear. I know how to deal with this; through my meditation and yoga.

Thing is I’ve been working so hard that I haven’t focused on any it like I want to. So, I need to take stock and give time to myself.

I am, however, so grateful for the work. My paycheck for graphics this month will be quite large. Lots of money is yea, yea, yea.

Balance is key for me. So, tomorrow..NO work, and all beach.

Damn, I love living in Southern California sometimes.


A stranger, a woman whom I had never met before today, bought me a crystal at the Goddess CAT store in Long Beach.

I decided to pop in and buy some cosmetics, as I had told Ifeanyi, the bright-souled owner, that when I had some money, I’d buy my make-up from her. And why not? It’s her own brand that she personally developed, and it is great quality at a good price. So, I popped in, got my hug and started feeling up crystals.

Now, when I say feeling up, I don’t mean molesting. I mean scoping out. Like I could spend all my money on crystals and not make-up, and be thrilled. But mom’s coming in a few weeks, and I only let myself go between visits. So, I was strictly scoping and not buying. I needed lip gloss and blush.

Three women came in after a 10 minute meet and greet with quartz, selenite, obsidian, and a couple of their friends. Ifeanyi greeted them with a hug and expressed delight that five of her favorite customers were there at the same time. She wants have a get together with her Goddess customers and dance with wine and flowered tiaras. I’m in.

So, we shared spiritual experiences, and I thoroughly delighted in the company of women who are like-minded. Hell, three of them, a mother with her two daughters, work with goddesses of African tradition. And I know these Goddesses in their Brazilian names and have danced for them. I have met and danced with a priestess of the Condomble while she brought Yemanja’s axe (life force) to our circle. We bonded over crystals and make-up.

As I purchased my make-up, I told Ifeanyi the crystal I loved would have to wait till next paycheck. One of the women came to me and asked which crystal spoke to me. Oblivious to her intent, I held one up and handed it to her. She said, “I’d like to buy this for you. You shared your story with us. Thank you.”

Tears came to my eyes. I thanked her over and over, and then gave my phone number to her. I hope she calls. I really want women like her in my life. Her daughters were beautiful souls as well. You could feel it from all of them.

So tonight, I held my crystal in my hand, and it spoke. Okay, it screamed. It is the most powerful stone I’ve ever held. It shook in my hand, and energy fired into my fingertips. I took a deep breath, and within two minutes, energy rushed into my left leg.
Suddenly my energetic spine opened and waves of pure, gorgeous energy pulsed strongly up my spine. I immediately felt the need to meditate, So did. I felt connected to God instantly, energy still pulsing.

I felt the life force of this crystal. It is completely and totally alive,

and it liked being felt up.


What an incredible gift to me. Thank you. Thank you.
The name of the type of quartz escapes me, but I will ask Ifeanyi, and update this post.

I am really enjoying my work, both as a massage therapist and a graphic designer. Meditation really helped me figure out who I am and what I needed to be doing in my life. Though I plan on snowballing this graphics work into more video production work, and then writing and creating movies, I feel so incredibly happy using my creative talents and brains.

At times I am struggling with time constraints. I’ve been incredibly busy, and I think that family and friend time will always be incredibly important to me. My mother is coming out to visit in a few weeks, and I am so excited. I am much less stressed than the last few times she has been here. I feel like I will be able to enjoy her so much more. I am definitely able to relax and let go now. Thank God. So, I just need to plan my time a little better and let go when I need to.

So, I’ve got to get to the yoga and meditation. The yoga was a little inconsistent for about three days and my hip starting hurting quite badly for a few days. I tried to lapse back to my old ways, but good old pain wouldn’t let me. HA.

If you’re thinking about making this same kind of change in your life. Do it. You won’t be sorry. I am a different person than I was six months ago.


The following is from the Beauty Body Wellness Associates website:

“Electro Acuscope/Electro Myopulse

The controlled micro-current bio impedance monitoring technology has been proven successful in medicine and in sports for more than 25 years. In September 2002, the Journal of Radiology Oncology Biology and Physics, Volume 54, Number 1, 2002 printed a Range of Motion Study, performed at Fermi Labs in Chicago. This study showed dramatic improvement in ROM with cancer patient survivors after radiation therapy had damaged tissue and reduced movement.

Celebrities and athletes including Sting, N-sync, Wayne Newton, Life House, Rachael Hunter, Cloris Leachman, Jack Nicklaus, Tony Robbins, Pope John Paul, Michael Jordan, the Forty Niners, the Chicago White Sox, Joan Benoit, Carl Lewis, Stephen Segal, Pavoratti and many more have had effective results with the technology. Many have purchased their own instruments.

The Acuscope and Myopulse instruments successfully treat any acute and chronic injuries in 1 to 10 treatments. The System provides for multiple treatment options including site of pain treatment, auricular therapy, meridian therapy, foot reflexology, odonton therapy and CES (cranial electro stimulation) for anxiety reduction and relaxation. All treatments start with the ear clips for deep relaxation, assimilating an alpha state and several hours of rest in 15 to 30 minutes. The instruments detoxify the lymph system, increase ATP, which is critical for muscle repair, eliminates pain and sore muscles and improves range-of-motion. All these positive benefits make the Electro Acuscope/Myopulse System the most advanced tissue-controlled micro amperage electrotherapy computer system in the world!

The input/output mechanism allows this feedback process to be scanned and altered every 2.5 thousandth of a second, on each of the 3 feedback loops, capturing the event as it occurs and responding in real-time. With this speed the “dynamic duo” balances the tissues picture perfect every time by reading the person’s resulting bio-impedance from the cells themselves and constantly changing the form and intensity of the treatment to meet the specific needs of the individual, proves that this technology is light years ahead, achieving more effective long term results in record time. This beyond revolutionary discovery is the only customized healing treatment for muscles and tissue repair, pain elimination and stress management. It is a totally holistic and preventive approach to healing and is similar to the concept of acupuncture without the needles, and is 100 times faster – allowing the body to heal itself at an accelerated rate.

The gentle and relaxing stimulation allows the tissue and muscles to correct any electrical imbalance at an accelerated rate by working with energy levels compatible with the tissues of the body. The result is conformed healthy muscles and tissue, improved organ functions, increased circulation and managed stress. With these results Physicians or Health Practitioners can treat the entire body inside and out, hence a paradigm in medical technology is born. This cutting-edge process conforms to healthy tissues bringing the entire region into homeostasis or balance. Physicians world-wide, who specialize in a full range of treatments to fit the needs of their health conscious patients wanting a pain free quality life, use the Electro Acuscope/Myopulse System.”

Anna Marie Colavito, the president of Beauty Body wellness, trained me in the “La Fleur Reparer” for the past two days. I learned techniques and settings on this $18,000 machine for body services. I will be facilitating cellulite treatments, butt and breast lifts, electric massages, and organ detox treatments. I, however, am most interested in learning the medical side of using microcurrent. The possibilities are exciting.

Years back I had a muscle strain in my bicep tendon and had just one treatment with microcurrent therapy, and it was AMAZING. No pain in one treatment. So, I’ll do butt lifts so I can eventually learn the medical uses. Microcurrent has successfully treated cancer, gangrene, and more. The possibilities are exciting, so I am thrilled to be learning something new. Just like I wanted to do.


What do I write when everything is going well? They always say that drama and tragedy fuels creativity. Well, screw that. I’m not having things turn to shit again so I can get creative. Looks like I need to take this experiment to another level, and push myself out of the complacency I feel with meditation and yoga. Why not commit more?

Yeah, like actually order the Self-Realization Fellowship lessons again, or start meditating in a group setting, at least once in a while. Reach out into the world a little more and teach what I know, or take a new class. Cheryl had told me to start learning something new, that it would help cement changes I’m trying to make in my brain, and I think it’s time. Maybe another screenplay class, a writing group, or even learn new software for editing or even Adobe Illustrator. The idea of a writing group kinda sounds thrilling though I’m not sure I’d be learning anything new. A photography class would be great.

But you see what I’m getting at. Complacency is boring. There is so much to do in life. How can anyone ever get bored? Oh yeah, they’re complacent. Well, not me! No way. Now, the thing that I have to figure out is how to not be complacent but still give myself kudos for what I do.

Ah, shit. I’m thinking way too much about all of this.

I think I’ll meditate.